[caption id=”attachment_482” align=”aligncenter” width=”480” caption=”Let me introduce you to my Grandpa who I called Daddy. ~April-Liesel”][/caption]
Right now I’m not looking for any kind of relationship with any Man right now… As I’ve stated on my Facebook and Twitter many times it would take an act of God for me to get into any kind of relationship with a Man this year. I’m just not in the mood for one right now. And I don’t think I have the time. Oh CRAP! I Lied! Not really! Maybe I have to clarify because I didn’t actually lie… I meant obviously a romantic relationship with a Man right now.

Besides it wouldn’t be fair to any guy that’s crushing on me because at this point in my life any guy that’s pursuing me is the last thing on my list. If you’re going to pursue me keep it on the down low until I’m ready. Because when a guy pursues me when I’ve made it clear I’m not in the mood nor ready it tells me he doesn’t respect me. And any guy that doesn’t respect me comes last. And I do mean last. Cleaning dogs crap off the street comes before a guy that doesn’t respect me. Heck bathing in dogs crap comes first before a guy that doesn’t respect me. And for me to want to bathe in dogs crap is a thought that’s unthinkable to me. So I hope I’ve made my point abundantly clear. I do not appreciate it when Men flirt with me when they know I’m not looking for a relationship. It’s okay to talk about how you admire me but be subtle and friendly about it.

Oh and if you’re taken don’t you dare make me the “other woman” by flirting with me. Any boy who makes me sub-atomically the “other woman” just disrespected me more than any guy could ever have. I’m no one’s mistress! And I’m no home wrecker! And any boy who has intentions of making me one will find my wrath much worse than the wrath of the woman he intends to cheat on.

This is why I’m extremely hard to get. I need to protect myself and that which belongs to my Soulmate… “God’s Chosen One”. I’ve got to make it virtually impossible for flaky or sinister dudes to get me. No man with sinister intentions or even a man who isn’t in love with me would dare waste their time on me. I want to make sure that a Man that’s not sincerely interested in me is wasting his time with me and dissuade any Man who likes to play games. If you don’t have the endurance and persistence to pursue a woman you’re wasting your time with me. I don’t take any guy sub-atomically seriously until he’s convinced me he’s sincerely interested. And believe me it will take time to convince me you’re sincerely interested. Only a Man who is really, truly, honorably, chivalrously and sincerely interested in me would have the persistence to deal with a Woman like me. That’s how I filter the boys from the Men. Chivalry, Honor and Good Old Fashioned Courtship is the only way to my heart. And I will not settle! Because I came in this world alone and I’m going to leave this world alone regardless if I get with the man of my dreams or not. Also I’m hard to get! I am probably the biggest challenge of any Man’s life! I’m also worth it!

I’m old fashioned in my philosophy on my love life. The Man must fight for the glory and honor of my love. And I must do my all to maintain and save every drop of myself for God’s “chosen one” for me. I’m that hard to get! I don’t take anyone seriously who doesn’t take love dead seriously. I will never assume a Man is interested until he shows me and makes it abundantly clear he is interested. And even then he must prove himself. The Man I marry will have made it impossible for me to say “NO.” Because he will have shown me that he was Man enough to endure what it took to get me. Thus proving he is Man enough to endure the good times and bad times in our forthcoming relationship. He proved he can stand the rain! He proved he would go through heaven and hell to get me and thus to keep me and our family!

I intend to marry a Man who is strong, spiritual and capable of being the head of our household and help lead our Family. I intend to take the name of a Man who is an example of what he wishes his daughters to marry and his sons to become. Besides any Man I marry would know I’m worth his every effort. Furthermore, I know he’s worth me making it impossible for anyone that’s not him to get me. I think that’s important in any relationship… knowing each others worth. God’s chosen one for me already knows I’m his right now. Because I’m his and only his right now and forever! Even if we haven’t been revealed to each other yet. However, right now I’m just not in the mood to entertain any Man right now… at least for the remainder of 2011. True Love always has right timing. I believe in that. And for me 2011 is very bad timing for any guy to pursue me. And it would take an act of God to get me to entertain a Man this year.

But I’ve always been open to a Man willing to be a “Father Figure” to me. I’m always open to having a relationship with an older (yet hip and cool ;P), wiser, honorable, protective and loving Man who doesn’t want to sleep with me or get with me or anything like that. Not to sound arrogant or egotistical but I get it Dudes! Some of you want to sleep with me and get with me. Some of you weird me out and scare me because of it! But fortunately for me I’m not having any of that! But to some of you digging me… perhaps see me in 2012 when I might be ready. ;P

But let me warn you and restate… if you’re going to pursue me you’d better prove to be a much stronger Man than I am a Woman. And let it be known sex will not be happening until after we’re married. I generally do not accept gifts during a Man’s courtship of me… you will have to get me with your heart and soul. I like to operate my love life like this so no one can accuse me of gold digging and sexing… not that I care! But at least the Man who is honorably pursuing me knows I’m not into his money and he’s definitely not giving me orgasms… yet! ;P Furthermore, I believe Men respect me more because of it. I am a Woman who demands respect and you better give it to me. Besides it challenges any Man who is sincerely interested in me to show me his heart and soul. And it filters out those who really wouldn’t be good for me. I am a challenge for any Man. But only “The One” would think I’m worth it all… and that’s the one I want. “The Biggest Shames Go To Those Who Play Games!” and “Flaky Jakes Are Big Mistakes” are some of my mantras when it comes to my love life and men. Hey I’m worth it Babe! ;) And if you’re the one for me… you know it! But moving on…

The kind of Man I’ve always prayed for, and if God would bless me, is a Father Figure. I’m ready for him now and am open to him anytime. He would have no desire to get with me or sleep with me. In fact that thought would disgust him and make him sick to his stomach. And the feeling would be mutual! A Father Figure would be a Man who would think of me and adopt me as his daughter. And love me as a daughter. Because I’d love him like a Father. A Man who would give me a males perspective on life and things. A Man willing to share his life experiences and his wealth of knowledge, wisdom, talents and gifts. But a Man willing to earn my trust, comfort and vulnerability. A Man who would be protective of me and willing to go through heaven and hell for me. Because I would too! A Man that was very much like another Man I called “Daddy,” my Grandpa!

Let me tell you about my Grandpa! It took him years to gain my trust, love, devotion, comfort and vulnerability. He stepped up to the plate when I was 14. It took him four years of heaven and hell for me to finally let him into that realm where only my Mom currently resides. As I stated in another post my Grandpa… my True Daddy was everything to me! You should really read it to truly understand how much my Grandpa meant to me and what he did for me and was to me. I really wish I had a Man like him in my life right now. I would love to be the kind of “Daughter Figure” that a Man like that would be proud of. And I would do all I could to make him proud. I would think our Father-Daughter Figure relationship would be mutually beneficial in that we could teach each other, enrich each other, inspire each other and learn from each other. In my dreams I would have a Father Figure in my life. I had one 10 years ago and he’s with me right now in spirit. He returned to God in 2001. I had him for a good six years. And I know God has another one for me out there. God just hasn’t revealed him to me yet.

The six years I had with my Grandpa as my Daddy were some of the best years of my life in terms of a relationship with a Man. To this day no other Man has come close to meaning as much as he has to me. My Daddy was and remains to be the only Man of my life. He’s my Emperor and I miss him terribly. I Miss You Daddy! His birthday was yesterday… March 12th. There’s so much I should have given him. There’s so much I should have done for him. There’s so much! I could have been a better daughter to him. While I live life with no regrets… I just wish I could have been the daughter and grand daughter of his dreams and he would have seen it before he breathed his last breath on earth. He was so worth everything I gave him and should have given to him. He, like my Mommy, was and remains my everything!

Now if God should bless me with another “Father Figure” in my life I bet that Man would be my everything. I can already tell you how much I love that Man right now. I can already tell you the kind of relationship we have. I can envision it right now. He and I don’t necessarily have to agree on everything. In fact we can disagree on many things. But we both don’t judge each other. We agree to disagree and we both build on what we love and respect about each other. He calls me “Kiddo” and I call him “Daddy-O.” If he has children, his Kids and I are like Siblings. If he has a Wife, she’s like my Aunt. And I love his Kids and his Wife for sharing him with me. There would be no jealousy or threat. And I could never ever ever express how grateful, appreciative and thankful I am to his Family for sharing him with me and taking me under their wings. I love his Kids like I love my two Little Sisters. And I love his Wife like a Special One Of A Kind Aunt. If he doesn’t have a Wife and instead opted for a Life Partner his Life Partner would be a Special One Of A Kind Aunt or Uncle to me. Yeah! I’m open to having a bisexual or homosexual “Father Figure.” Heck some of the most important Men in my life have been Gay!

My Daddy-O would call me up every day to check up on me. And yeah, he’d even nag me. Oh My Gosh would he nag me. He’d piss me off too! But then he’d know when to back off. But I know why he nags me. That’s because he wants what’s best for me! I’d call him up and check up on him. I would cherish every moment with him. He could be someone I could cry in front of and be vulnerable and real with and I’d be safe. And he would protect that part of me and take care of it. I could trust him and talk to him about anything and he wouldn’t judge me and vice versa. He would never betray me and I would never betray him. He and I are loyal to each other for eternity. We’d both go through heaven and hell for each other. Man I’d love to have that kind of relationship with a Father Figure! In my Dreams! I hope and pray that God will bless me with that kind of Man in my life. “Ask and ye shall receive!” Then I can’t wait!

In conclusion, my want for a Father Figure is in no way, shape or form a reflection on my Mother. And should not give the impression that there is something lacking in my Mother and my relationship. Quite the contrary my Mother is my Father… my beyond transcendent everything to me and then some. In my world, heart, and soul… with every drop of my being from beginning to end it is and has always been first God and me and then my Mother and me. Period! Any important Men in my life would have won the approval of my God and my Mother. Period!

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